I love my job- it is an amazing, wonderful, flexible, unbelievably cool job that challenges me mentally and gives me room and encouragement to learn new things. (No, I’m not going to tell you what I do on this blog, I like to keep those two worlds separate. ) I’ve been working 12+ hour days for the past week getting ready for a release of a new iPhone app. (I do everything but programming, but that’s still a lot of stuff to do.) No time for personal life, dates, reading for leisure, even sex. Wake, work, sleep, repeat. With lots of coffee in between.
And Monday evening we got a notice that the app had been rejected by Apple (for a really stupid technical reason, grumble). I was so PISSED OFF, so I just decided to sit in bed, get drunk, and be disgruntled. (Yes, I realize this is not the best coping skill, but whatever, it was a shitty night.)
And then an email showed up in my inbox from Wes (who is a friend of a girlfriend of my boyfriend Chad, and we’re probably “poly related” in a number of other ways), just mentioning a blog post he had quoted me in and which we’d both been commenting on. I was already into the “slightly drunk and grumpy” stage of the evening, so I kvetched to him about the app being rejected. He didn’t say anything world-shifting- just commiseration and a moderately vague plan to have a glass of wine together on Friday, but it helped me get from “ANGIE HULK SMASH COMPUTER, LIVE IN CAVE ALONE FOREVER,” to “well, yeah this is shitty but I’m giving an awesome workshop on Friday and now I can look forward to having a glass of wine after with this fun guy who I enjoy “talking” with online.
This to me is the biggest plus of polyamory- I call it the transitive property of affection. I might not be best friends with the girlfriends of my partner, or the boyfriends of the girlfriends of the girlfriends of my partner, but if something bad goes down and they need help, or a more impartial person to get advice from, or a bunch of food for a wedding or funeral, or a place to stay and cry for a week after getting dumped and kicked out of their apartment, I will be there 100%. I know many (most?) of the people in my extended poly/friend network feel the same.
In my circle, poly is not just about fucking. It’s about knowing there will always be someone there to catch you when you need it.